My brother thinks I'm mad. My Mum won't talk about it. My Granny doesn't even know about it: I'm a Ceefax addict. There was a time when I would check the scores around 5pm on a Saturday, just to find out who won. Tha's how it started. But as the end of the season approached, I'd start checking how things were shaping up at 4.30pm. In recent seasons I started checking at half time, and then saying, "Just see if anything's changed," and switching the telly on and off ten times during a fixture.

Those were the good old days. Now I actually settle down with a cup of coffee before it starts (find out the line-ups, and which other teams are playing.) If the league is getting exciting, then I'm there watching Ceefax all the way through any important match. The one advantage it has over going to a game is that you can calculate the premiership table as you go along, knowing, as you do, all the scores. If you need to consult goal difference, no problem, there it is in the table, on page 312. I needn't mention that the advantage it has over Sky is that every single Leeds game, indeed every single game in the league, gets full coverage on Ceefax, and, what's more, it won't cost you a penny, ever. No, I'm committed now, it's my favourite way to watch footie. Unlike radio, which gives me a heart attack, there's a Zen-like calm to Ceefax coverage. In fact, so little happens, that if the screen blinks (and it often does) it can set off a panic attack. The screen is Zen-like, but there's nothing Zen-like about watching it, when the slightest blink could be the calm announcement of a two goal lead that they forgot to tell you about. There's a particular, obsessive slant to Ceefax that all football fans can relate to. Skill in midfield, beautiful backheels, achingly elegant crosses, terrific saves all mean absolutely nothing: Goals are the only thing that count. You get a mention if you're sent off, or if you miss a penalty, but the only other way to get on the screen is to get on the score sheet.

Take today's game: Leeds V Spurs, 4/11/01. We're second, Villa are top, but even a draw will take us top again. The game starts, and after a few minutes it looks as if Tottenham are playing for a 0-0 draw. Come to that, it looks as if Leeds are as well. On the same screen, Liverpool are playing Man U (11.30am kick-off), so the possibilities for the end of the day are all over the place, especially with Celsea facing Ipswich and Arsenal playing Charlton later on. So while things are quiet at Elland Road, they aren't going well for Fergie's boys. Michael Owen puts Liverpool ahead just two minutes after our game began, and just seven minutes later the scousers are two-up, with Riise the scorer. "And if it stays like this we're top on goal difference", I find myself shouting out loud, only eleven minutes into our fixture. After that flurry of excitement, calm descends as Liverpool and Man Utd reach half time, and Leeds and Spurs remains goalless. We have our half time shortly after them, and at 1.10pm, it still says half time, with ten minutes of the second half played. I'm going crazy, screaming at the telly to take a look back at the game and see what's going on. Which they do. And I'm not best pleased. Poyet has scored. 0-1. But hold the back page, because here comes a climactic Ceefax moment. Teasingly, "scorer to follow"appears under the word "Leeds", but it still says 0-1 and I'm jumping up and down feeling that thrill you get when you see a ripple of net but you don't know if it's in or out. Except this lasts thirty seconds. It's in, Hartey has scored, 1-1. Liverpool are suddenly announced as being 3-1 up at Anfield, and, let's face it, if one red team has to win, we would all rather it was Liverpool. "If it stays like this", I'm saying out loud, "Liverpool go top, Leeds second on goal difference above the Villa." And while I'm checking the league table and making another cup of coffee, Kewell scores to bring us a win and shake the league up again. Leeds are top, and I'm just waiting for the screen to say "result" so that I can live again. I curse myself for having missed the goal and sit down to be tortured for ten minutes. The screen jumps again, but it's just the Ceefax boys changing Harry's goal from the 80th to the 82nd minute. I'm thinking of Howard Wilkinson's daft phrase that he's a "firm believer that if they score one goal you've got to score two to win" and wondering if we have actually come from behind to do Spurs. As I'm thinking it, I'm put out of my misery, and the word "result"; appears on the screen. I breathe easy, relax. Think about a stroll out to get the papers. Might go round and meet some friends for a drink, get out in the daylight. Then Arsenal gets a goal, and I'm thinking, Chelsea are still 0-0, if it stays like this...